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The aggressive behavior of a five-year-old child is expressed in the fact that he begins to break, destroy objects that come his way, and offends those around him, who often have nothing to do with his offenses. Parents usually cannot find an explanation for such actions of their children. There is always a reason that provokes a child to aggressive behavior. And finding out is the joint task of parents, teachers and psychologists.

An aggressive child at 5 years old may be hysterical or manipulative

If there is such a bully kid in the team, then the well-being of the children's group is jeopardized.

Typical traits of a five-year-old aggressor

Aggressive behavior of five-year-old children is expressed in the fact that they lose control, argue with elders, and behave rudely and ruthlessly with peers. Such a child will never admit to his mistakes; he will definitely justify himself and shift the blame onto other children.

Traits such as vindictiveness, envy, wariness and suspicion are characteristic of children prone to aggression.

If you observe the behavior of five-year-old bullies, you will notice the following signs:

• the child constantly tries to bully, push or call other children;
• he likes to break or destroy things;
• he constantly tries to provoke others, angers teachers, parents or peers in order to receive reciprocal aggression;
• he deliberately does not fulfill the demands of adults, for example, does not go to wash his hands, does not tidy up toys, in order to be scolded. Moreover, having received a remark, he may burst into tears so that they begin to feel sorry for him. This is how an aggressive child can “release” internal tension and anxiety.

Why are 5-year-old children aggressive?

The reasons for a child’s aggressive behavior at this age can be the family situation, temperament, socio-biological reasons, the age component, and even “personal” circumstances. Each child must be dealt with individually. But it is still possible to systematize the reasons.

Family environment

Discord in the family is one of the serious reasons that causes anger in a 5-year-old child. Frequent quarrels and family disputes provoke the child’s anger. He projects family relationships onto the environment.

Indifference on the part of relatives is another reason for a child’s aggressive behavior. In an atmosphere of indifference, the emotional connection between the child and parents is not established. At the age of five, children really need this connection.

Lack of respect for the child. As a result, the baby is not confident in himself, begins to develop complexes and assert himself.

As a rule, all these feelings are expressed in the manifestation of anger towards others and oneself.

Excessive control or lack thereof also leads to aggression.

Personal reasons

Personal reasons that cause aggression lie in the instability and instability of the child’s psycho-emotional state. The most common are the following:

• Fear of danger. At the subconscious level, the child expects danger. It happens that the baby is tormented by fears, he cannot determine where to expect danger from, he is anxious. In this case, aggressive behavior becomes a defensive reaction.
• Emotional instability is often cited as the cause of anger in children aged five to six years. At this age, children cannot control their emotional state. Aggression can hide poor health or ordinary fatigue. If at this age a child is not given the opportunity to “reset” emotions, then the baby will cope with them through unmotivated outbursts of anger. Moreover, aggression will be directed at whatever comes to hand.
• Dissatisfaction with yourself. It happens that a child is not happy with himself. Here it should be said that there is a guilt of parents who could not teach their child self-respect. And the baby doesn’t know how to love himself. And those who do not know how to love themselves cannot love those around them. Therefore, he has a negative attitude towards the world around him.
• Defensive reaction to feelings of guilt. It happens that children's aggression is caused by feelings of guilt. A child of five years old can already understand that he has unfairly offended someone and may feel shame for some actions. But he cannot admit them, so the feeling of guilt is also expressed in aggressive behavior, moreover, towards the one whom he offended.

Situational reasons

Certain situations can trigger children's aggression. For example, a child is overtired, he is overwhelmed by impressions of what he saw or heard, he simply did not sleep well. All this can result in an outburst of anger.

Sometimes aggression can be caused certain products nutrition. For example, the level of cholesterol in the blood may decrease, as a result of which aggressiveness will increase (this is an officially proven fact by science).

Or, for example, due to excessive consumption of chocolate, a child may experience outbursts of anger.

Environmental conditions can also cause children to become angry. Loud noise, vibrations, stuffiness, or being in a small space can irritate your child.

It has been noticed that children who permanently live in areas of busy highways, near the railway, are much more irritable than those who live in residential areas.

The influence of temperament on the manifestation of aggression

The type of temperament also influences the manifestation of aggression. There is one nuance here - temperament cannot be corrected. But, knowing the signs of each type of temperament, you can correct the child’s behavior.

A melancholic child tends to experience stress from participating in competitions and from various innovations. These conditions make them feel angry, but they express their emotions passively.

In phlegmatic people, aggression is also expressed, one might even say calmly. The balance of the nervous system allows owners of this type of temperament to control themselves. External manifestations of rage are very rare in such children.

Sanguine people tend to be peaceful and are not inclined to show aggression towards other children. A sanguine child is aggressive only when he has exhausted all possibilities for peaceful resolution of issues.

But choleric people are prone to fits of rage from childhood. A child of this psychotype is characterized by extreme imbalance, nervousness and hot temper. More often than not, they take actions first and then think about their actions.

Reasons of a socio-biological nature

At the age of five, boys show signs of aggression much more often than their peers. It is at this age that children begin to differentiate by gender. The social stereotype that a boy should be stronger, and therefore more militant, than a girl plays an important role.

Reasons social plan in this age category also matter. Children at the age of 5 are observant; they assimilate the value systems that are accepted in their environment.

Thus, a child from a family where people are treated depending on their position and social status may be aggressive towards the cleaning lady, but will be restrained towards the teacher. If there is a cult of material wealth in the family, then a child at the age of 5 will take these values ​​for granted and will direct his aggression towards those who earn little, towards those children who do not have expensive toys.

Forms and purposes of aggression in five-year-old children

Aggression in children aged five can be expressed both physically and verbally. Moreover, aggressive behavior can have either a mental or emotional basis. What is the reason for the aggressiveness of five-year-old children? What do they want to achieve with their bellicose behavior?

And the goals for children can be the following:

• expressing your anger and hostility;
• an attempt to show one's superiority;
• intimidate others;
• achieve what you want in any way;
• an attempt to overcome any fears.

Modern psychologists distinguish between 2 options for the manifestation of aggression in children of this age:

1. This is impulsive aggression, which is committed in a hysterical state, it manifests itself spontaneously and is accompanied by very high emotional stress.
2. Predatory aggression, which, most often, is planned as a way to get what you want. For example, by deliberately breaking a toy, a child throws an aggressive tantrum in order to be bought another one.

Moreover, psychologists note that children who are more developed at 5 years old choose the tactics of aggression according to the second option. Whereas, less developed children are more prone to impulsive aggression.

The behavior of children from 4 to 6 years old is characterized by the manifestation of anger towards peers. During this period, children begin to realize that they are part of society, so they have contradictions and grievances, both real and far-fetched. It is these feelings that make the child attack others.

What are the consequences of aggressive behavior?

If a five-year-old bully constantly tries to “bully” his peers, is aggressive towards adults, treats animals with malice, is very sensitive and touchy, then this behavior must be treated with increased attention. All of these symptoms taken together may indicate a predisposition to violent acts.

Parents should closely monitor their child and, if attacks of anger recur periodically, then they should seek help from specialist psychologists. This behavior is truly a problem that needs to be addressed.

What factors can increase the aggressive behavior of a five-year-old child?

Teachers, psychologists and parents should be very careful if

• the child has experienced any violence;
• he observed violence in the family or among others;
• saw violence on television;
• there are people in the family who use alcohol or drugs;
• if the family is at the stage of ending the marriage;
• in a family where there is only a mother, the parents do not have jobs and are not well off;
• Firearms are stored in the house.

Parents must teach their child to be patient and be able to manage emotions. The family should limit their child from negative influences environment. But it is impossible to isolate the baby. Therefore, you need to talk to the baby and teach him to cope with negative emotions.

What stimulates increased aggression

• The risk of increasing the level of aggression in 5-year-old children arises if a particular child’s mutual understanding with peers is disrupted, and the child begins to feel isolated. The result is increased aggressiveness. Parents and teachers should help the child get rid of this, try to set the child up positively and change his behavior.
• There is another factor that stimulates aggressive behavior - shortcomings in upbringing. It happens that parents simply encourage the child to become embittered towards the world around him.
• Depression that occurs in children is also a stimulus for anger.
• Of course, deviations are also a factor that stimulates aggression. mental development. These are various conditions bordering on schizophrenia and paranoia.
• Autistic and mentally retarded children are also susceptible to aggressive attacks. The behavior of such children can be aggressive due to disappointment, resentment, and inability to cope with emotions.
• Destructive disorders can also stimulate aggressive behavior.

In order to cope with the aggressive behavior of a 5-year-old child, you need to find out the cause and stimulating factors of anger.

Parents of those children who are prone to aggression must learn to manage the behavior of their children. Positive contact should be established with the child, and parents should praise him for good behavior.

At the age of 5, a child should not be physically punished. Such punishment will not stop an aggressive child; on the contrary, the problem will worsen. If children who are prone to aggression are punished, they begin to misbehave more often, but hide their actions.

In this case, the child’s psyche may be shaken, and he will develop a desire for violence. Children with such behavior are classified as high-risk groups. As adults, these children are at risk of developing mental illness.

Psychologists believe that a common problem among parents is children’s quarrels with their sisters and brothers. If a child behaves this way towards his family, then with unfamiliar children, he may simply become uncontrollable.

The task of parents is to teach a 5-year-old child the basics of social behavior and emotion management skills.

One of the options is martial arts classes, where the child learns not only the basics of self-defense, but also learns correct behavior.

Teachers and parents should make it clear to children that all issues can be resolved peacefully, learn to assess the situation and control their emotions.

How to reduce a child's aggressiveness through play activities

“Toy in the fist”: Give the child the task of closing his eyes. Let him take a toy or candy in his hand. Then the baby should firmly grasp this object in his fist. After a few seconds, you need to ask to open the handle. The surprise that the child sees in the palm of his hand will be a pleasant surprise.

“Bag of anger”: You need to have a “bag of anger” at home. The child will “put” his aggressive emotions into this bag. If you take an ordinary ball, but instead of air, fill it with grain or sand, then a container will appear where negative aspects are hidden. This pouch is used to avoid aggression.

“Tuh-tibi-duh.” If the child begins to get angry, then you need to invite him to walk around the room, saying the phrase: “Tuh-tibi-doh.”

Words should be pronounced very actively, with anger. As soon as the baby starts to laugh, you need to stop saying these words.

Methods for eliminating aggression

When you see that the child’s behavior is becoming aggressive, he is irritated, then invite him to draw his feelings or mold them from plasticine or salt dough. While working, ask your child about what he is doing and what feelings he is experiencing. These actions distract from an aggressive mood.

Together with your child, make a small pillow “for anger.” As soon as the child begins to get irritated, ask him not to be nervous, but simply beat the pillow with his hands. The hysteria will gradually fade away.

Make it clear that fighting and attacking others is not a solution to problems. If he is aggressive and angry, then no one will be friends with him.

Other ways:

• It’s time for a 5-year-old child to be introduced to the rules of behavior at home and outside the home. At 5 years old, a child will already be able to fulfill basic requirements and obey established rules.
• If you know that your child listens to you, then praise him more often.
• Fairytale therapy is also very effective. Using examples of the actions of fairy-tale characters, you can teach a child to understand what bad actions are and how not to behave.
• An aggressive 5-year-old child needs physical activity. If children play sports or receive other physical activity, there will be no time left for anger.
• If a child needs to “throw off” negative emotions, then direct his anger at... old newspapers: let him tear them into small pieces.
• You can buy him hammers made of plastic or wood and give him the opportunity to become a “drummer” - let him knock on the pillows.
• Give a 5-year-old child a piece of whatman paper and allow him to draw what he wants with a marker. Then let them portray good, kind feelings.
• A good way to overcome aggression can be to participate in theatrical productions. You can take any toys and act out a scene. Or you can offer to come up with a scene yourself.

So, at 5 years old a child can behave aggressively. Factors that provoke aggression are very difficult to avoid. But parents, with the help of teachers and psychologists, must do everything to ensure that the child is irritated as little as possible.

Children's aggression is not unreasonable. It is imperative to find out why the child’s behavior manifests itself in anger.

Perhaps the reasons are in the family, maybe he himself is prone to such manifestations of anger due to his temperament, or perhaps he is not comfortable in a team.

In any case, parents and teachers must find the reasons for this behavior of a 5-year-old child and help him get rid of excessive aggression.

One of the current problems that all parents undoubtedly have to face is children's aggressiveness. Unfortunately, today, aggression in children is becoming more and more apparent. And this, of course, cannot but puzzle both parents, psychologists and teachers. After all, this is a real problem that needs to be fought by joining forces.

But in order to overcome and defeat childhood aggression, you need to know key points related to this concept: what is aggression, what leads to its occurrence, is it possible to fight it and what methods are there for this.

We will consider all these important aspects in this article.

Catastrophe of the 21st century

Today, every person, even someone who is not a specialist in the field of psychology and pedagogy, can easily notice how quickly the number of aggressive children is growing. Naturally, many factors contribute to this:

• Social conditions;
• Gaps in family education;
• Birth pathologies leading to brain damage;
• Parents and teachers who are indifferent to the child’s problems;
• Means mass media, films and computer games that actively promote violence.

In fact, there are many reasons. However, the problem is so serious and urgent that today we need to pay special attention to it.

After all, at birth, a child has only 2 ways of responding to different stimuli: pleasure or displeasure. And when the baby is fed, clean and has no pain, the child shows only positive emotions - this could be a smile, calm observation of others, and even a restful sleep. In cases where the baby has some kind of discomfort, he becomes dissatisfied: he begins to cry, scream, and the like.

In fact, as the child grows up, the child retains those manifestations of his dissatisfaction, which he already shows through destructive actions, this can be either beating other people or harming things that are valuable to them.

Aggression and man

The very manifestation of aggression is characteristic of humans. Since aggression is a subconscious form of individual behavior aimed at protecting and surviving in a world where there are many dangers. It's been like this for centuries.

However, a person understands that it is impossible to show aggression in the civilized world and with age begins to exercise control over his aggressive instincts and use more acceptable ways of responding.

The problem is that this (controlling one’s aggressive instincts) needs to be taught to a person from childhood. Otherwise, he may have various difficulties establishing contact with other people. Consequently, in the manifestation of aggression in children, the key and most important factor is the reaction of adults, especially parents.

Many parents mistakenly believe that it is necessary to suppress aggression in a child. This is a big mistake, because as mentioned above, aggression is a necessary and natural feeling for an individual. And when you constantly suppress manifestations of aggression in your child, then he may develop another type of aggression: auto-aggression, which is a more serious problem. After all, in this case the child harms himself.

Or, suppressing aggressive behavior in a child can lead to the development of a psychosomatic disorder.

So what should a parent do if their child engages in aggressive behavior? The most important thing here is to understand that your main task, as parents, is to teach your child how to control the outburst of his aggression. You must teach your child how to channel conflict in a peaceful direction. Show them and teach them how to protect themselves and their interests in ways that are acceptable in society. After all, it is important to convey to the child that one can and should defend oneself, but at the same time not infringe on the interests of another and not cause harm to him.

Why does a child develop aggression?

The reasons for the manifestation of aggression in a child can be varied. Of course, brain diseases or specific diseases can also cause aggression in a child. But still, the key factor is family and raising a child.

Studies have shown and proven that those children who were abruptly weaned from breastfeeding, or children who had limited communication and communication with their mother, become suspicious, cruel, aggressive, anxious and selfish people. In cases where the mother was always there and gave the baby her love and care, such qualities may never appear in a person.

Another important reason is the punishments that parents use in response to a child’s aggressive behavior. There are two possible reactions from parents: greater severity towards the child or excessive leniency. It is a proven fact that aggressive children can grow up in families where parents are too cruel and strict and in those families where parents are soft and compliant.
But after conducting a series of studies, scientists have discovered that in cases where parents suppress the aggressive behavior of their children too sharply, their aggression not only does not disappear, but also becomes greater. In these cases, the child will show aggression in adulthood.

However, this does not mean that if a child displays aggressive behavior and the parents do nothing to reason with the child, the child will “correct.” Indeed, in this case, the child will think that such behavior is normal and gradually he will direct his aggression towards the people around him.

It sounds like a paradox, but parents must still find that middle ground in order to correctly influence the child and control their child’s aggression.

And it is important to keep in mind the fact that in most cases, a child’s aggression is a copy of the behavior of his parents. So, if your child sees outbursts of aggression and lack of restraint in you, then don’t even try to correct him. First of all, correct yourself.

What kind of aggressive child is he?

In order to understand and help an aggressive child, you need to be able to recognize him among others. After all, an aggressive child has distinctive features, which both parents and specialists working with children should know about.

At present, there is probably not a single team (class, group in kindergarten) in which there would not be an aggressive child. This is the child who will provoke all conflicts, he can attack other children to take their toys, he can call others names, fight with them and the like.

Of course, it’s not easy with such a child, because he causes a lot of grief to both parents and educators and teachers. But it is still important to understand and accept one fact: a child who constantly shows aggressive behavior needs help, understanding, affection and love from an adult more than others.

It is very important that adults understand that such behavior is a cry for help. In this way, the child shows his inner discomfort. And, since he simply cannot adequately react to all this, he resorts to aggression.

Often, an aggressive child perceives himself as an outcast; it seems to him that no one needs him. And this comes from the cruel attitude or indifference of parents to the child. When the relationship between parents and child is disrupted, he has the feeling that no one loves him. The consequence of this is the child’s attempts to attract the attention of adults around him at all costs in order to feel needed. Of course, for us adults, it is clear that this road cannot bring the child the desired results, but the child himself cannot understand this. And he doesn’t know any other ways to satisfy his need for love and attention.

An aggressive child is also characterized by suspicion and caution. They can easily try to place their own blame on others. They cannot understand their aggression and do not understand that they are causing fear and anxiety to others. Instead, it seems to them that all the children are against them, that they are the ones who want to offend and hurt them. And all this leads the aggressive child to a dead end: he is afraid and angry at other children, and the children themselves are afraid and hate him. And in this case, the role of an adult is very important, who will understand and intervene in time to help and improve the difficult situation.

One more characteristic feature An aggressive child is his weak emotionality. Such children almost do not react to different situations, and in those cases when they show feelings, these are mostly dark emotions and feelings. Experts are confident that this is a kind of defense mechanism child.

Be that as it may, it is important to understand that the child does not see himself from the outside and cannot control his behavior. This means that when adults see a manifestation of child and even teenage aggression, they must intervene. Adult intervention should be aimed at eliminating conflict situations and reducing aggression in a child or adolescent.

Sadness for all parents

My child has become aggressive, what should I do? This is the question that every parent probably asks after seeing how their child’s behavior has changed. And in truth, often when a child begins to go to kindergarten or when he changes his usual atmosphere, he begins to show aggression. And this, in turn, greatly upsets parents.

So, what to do if your beloved child begins to show aggression?

The first and most important thing that every parent should do, despite the circumstances, is to show their love, attention and affection to him. Remember, if your child has done something bad, then you should show your dissatisfaction with the action, not with the child.

There are also a few things you should never do when your child is being aggressive. This:

• Under no circumstances threaten your child that if you see this behavior even once again, you will no longer love him or you will find another child.
• Never insult him, call him names, or do anything that might offend him as a person.
• You can’t brush off a child who comes to you with one request or another. Don't yell at him, don't offend him. Just show how much you value him, how much you love him and explain that you simply cannot fulfill his request in this situation.
• And, of course, if you do not want your child to show aggression, then you yourself monitor yourself, your emotions and your own manifestations of aggression. Do not forget that parents are an example for their children and they always copy their behavior and even reactions.

When you see changes in your child’s behavior, do not rush to suppress aggression. Since this can lead to more serious problems (this has already been discussed above). Instead, teach your child ways that will help him show his dissatisfaction, aggression, and defend himself in ways accepted in society. Fortunately, today there are many such methods: drawing, modeling, various games, sports, and the word should not be underestimated. That is, any methods that do not harm other people and at the same time help not to restrain one’s aggression are suitable for this. If a child's aggressive actions gradually turn into words, the child will understand that this is much better than immediately getting into a fight.

In addition, with age, the child learns to recognize and talk about his feelings. For example, when he is offended or upset about something, he will not behave aggressively or disgustingly in order to attract your attention. Developing this skill: expressing your feelings and concerns - important step. And parents, in turn, should give the child the opportunity to speak, listen to him and show him how to behave in certain circumstances. This will not only restore calm and confidence to the child, but will also further strengthen the bond between child and parents.

When your child starts to get angry, capricious and screaming, it is best if you hug him and hold him close to you. This best way, which will give peace to the baby. And when he calms down, talk to him about what happened, let the child talk about his feelings. It is important to understand that during this conversation you cannot reproach or moralize the baby. Since in this case the child can withdraw into himself. Instead, let him know that you are always there and always ready to listen and hear him.

In your arms, the child feels calm and he begins to understand that you are able to withstand his aggression. And soon you will be convinced that your child begins to restrain his aggressive impulses and controls his own aggression.

In addition, try to show your child that aggressive behavior is not in an efficient way in communication and conflict resolution. Explain to your child that at first this behavior may give him a benefit, for example, he can forcefully take a toy from another. But this will lead to the fact that no one will play with him and he will end up alone. If taught correctly, the child will definitely not like this picture and he may change his behavior.

When you see that your child has hit another, you need to react in the following way: first you need to approach the child whom your child offended. If he falls, then pick him up and tell him that your child did not mean to offend him. Hug and kiss the injured child and escort him out of the room. This way, your child understands that he really can be left alone, not only without a friend, but also without you and your attention. If you have talked to him about this and explained everything in advance, then after several such episodes he will begin to change his behavior. After all, no one wants to be alone.

Important for everyone to know

A child needs praise from adults, especially from parents. This means that you need to praise your baby when you see that he is working hard and trying to behave correctly. Expressions such as: “I’m very proud that you shared toys with your friend instead of fighting with him again,” “I was very pleased to see how you behaved,” or “The way you acted today was very okay” and the like can work wonders. Remember, when a child sees satisfaction, he perceives praise much better.

And when you talk to your child about his behavior, do it separately, without any witnesses. Do not use while talking emotional words, such as “ashamed”, “disgrace” and the like.

And naturally, it is the duty of every parent to eliminate situations in which aggression may manifest in a child. For example, if you see that your child has become aggressive after visiting kindergarten, then you need to figure out what the problem is and what led to this behavior. After all, it is likely that he is mistreated or offended there.

Today, fairytale therapy works well in the fight against aggressive behavior of a child. If you see a manifestation of aggression in your child, then you can compose a fairy tale with him, where the main character will be the child. And, like all heroes, in a fairy tale he must behave correctly in order to earn the praise of others and win the title of hero. Of course, fairy tale therapy is best done when your child is in a calm state.

In addition, we must not forget that the child must have the opportunity to provide emotional release, so sign him up for some active sport, let him play active games and the like, there are many options.

It is also important that the child develops such feelings and qualities as sympathy, empathy, and trust. And all this is instilled in them in childhood, with the help and participation of parents and educators, teachers. After all, no matter how important the role of parents is, the role of teachers in raising children cannot be underestimated.

Child as a person

Many parents cannot perceive their children as individuals. That is why it can be difficult for them to understand that children can also have their own opinion, point of view, feelings that need to be accepted and taken into account. In other words, for many parents, taking their child seriously can be a difficult task.

Learn to give him the opportunity to feel free and independent. A child must understand from an early age that he is responsible for his behavior, for his actions and misdeeds. In other words, the child should develop a sense of responsibility.

But at the same time, the child must know that you stand behind him like a mountain. He must be sure that if he needs something, you will rush to help: simply by listening, giving the right advice or providing the necessary help.

As an individual, a child should have his own corner in the house, where an adult should not intrude without his consent. Not understanding the importance of this, many parents think that since this is their child, then he should not have secrets. So they start rummaging through their children’s things, reading letters, checking mail, eavesdropping on conversations, and the like. All this, in turn, becomes the cause of aggression in the child. Don’t make such mistakes, because if you have a trusting relationship with your child, he will tell you everything himself and come running to you as his closest person and authoritative adviser. And the child himself will respect you much more if you treat him as an individual.

One last thing

Childhood aggression is a real problem, which, if not eradicated in time, can cause many troubles in a child’s life.

Therefore, if you have tried all the methods mentioned above and still have not achieved any results, then you need to contact a specialist. A psychologist will help find a solution to this problem and will be able to establish contact with the child, while also improving the child’s attitude towards both parents and others.

It is important to remember that every child is a mirror image of their parents. So, if your child becomes aggressive, angry, always creating conflicts, then you should reconsider yourself and ask yourself the question: am I like this? Having honestly answered this painful question for yourself, you will no longer draw hasty conclusions about your child. Sometimes, when parents change themselves, the child himself begins to behave more calmly and restrained.

– verbal and physical activity aimed at causing harm to one’s own health, people, animals, and external objects. Based on negative emotions, the desire to harm. Manifested by disobedience, irritability, cruelty, insults, slander, threats, refusal to communicate, acts of violence (bites, blows). Diagnosed by a psychiatrist or psychologist. The research is carried out using the method of conversation, observation, questionnaires, questionnaires, and projective tests are used. Treatment includes group and individual psychotherapy - training in ways to control emotions and safely express anger.

ICD-10

R45.6 F91

General information

Aggressive behavior is detected in children of all ages. It primarily serves as a way of expressing negative emotions - irritation, anger, anger. Observing the result of such behavior, the child evaluates its usefulness. Secondarily, he demonstrates aggression with a specific goal - to get toys, food, to attract the attention of parents, to prove strength, importance, to subjugate others. The more often the desired is achieved, the more firmly aggressiveness is consolidated in behavior, becoming a quality of character. The prevalence of this phenomenon is difficult to determine, since every child displays aggression throughout his life. In boys it occurs earlier and is open in nature. In girls it manifests itself indirectly.

Reasons

The causes of aggression are varied - accumulated emotional stress, the inability to express resentment in words, lack of attention from adults, the desire to get someone else's toy, to show strength to peers. Often children harm others or themselves because they feel helpless, sad, resentful, but cannot understand their own condition and do not have the communication skills to resolve the problem. The following groups of causes of aggressiveness are distinguished:

• Family relationships. The formation of aggression is facilitated by demonstrations of cruelty, violence, disrespect, frequent conflicts in the family, and parental indifference. The child copies the behavior of the mother, the father - argues, provokes fights, openly shows anger, disobedience in order to attract attention.
• Personal characteristics. The instability of the emotional state is manifested by anger and irritation. Fear, fatigue, poor health are expressed through aggression, and feelings of guilt and low self-esteem are compensated for.
• Features of the nervous system. Children with an unbalanced weak type of central nervous system are prone to aggression. They tolerate stress less well and are less resistant to the effects of physical and psychological discomfort.
• Socio-biological factors. The severity of aggressiveness is determined by the gender of the child, role expectations, social status. Boys are often instilled with the idea that a man should be able to fight, to “fight back.”
• Situational factors. Emotional lability in childhood is manifested by outbursts of irritation and anger when accidentally exposed to external unfavorable events. A child can be provoked by a bad school grade, the need to do homework, physical discomfort caused by hunger, or a tiring trip.

Pathogenesis

The physiological basis of children's aggressiveness is an imbalance in the processes of excitation-inhibition of the central nervous system, the functional immaturity of individual brain structures responsible for the control of emotions and behavior. When exposed to a stimulus, excitation predominates, and the process of inhibition “lags.” The psychological basis of children's aggressiveness is a low ability for self-regulation, lack of developed communication skills, dependence on adults, and unstable self-esteem. Children's aggression is a way to relieve stress during emotional, mental stress, and poor health. Purposeful aggressive behavior is focused on getting what you want and protecting your own interests.

Classification

Many classifications of aggressive behavior have been developed. Based on the direction of actions, a distinction is made between heteroaggression – causing harm to others, and auto-aggression – causing harm to oneself. Based on etiological characteristics, reactive aggression is distinguished, which occurs as a reaction to external factors, and spontaneous, motivated by internal impulses. The classification according to the form of manifestation is of practical importance:

• Expressive aggression. Demonstration methods – intonation, facial expressions, gestures, postures. Diagnostically difficult option. Aggressive acts are not recognized or denied by the child.
• Verbal aggression. It is realized through words - insults, threats, swearing. The most common option among schoolgirls.
• Physical aggression. Damage is caused using physical force. This form is common among children early age, schoolchildren (boys).

Symptoms

Basic manifestations of aggression are observed in infants up to one year old. In children aged 1-3 years, conflicts arise due to the appropriation of toys and other personal belongings. Children bite, push, fight, throw objects, spit, scream. Attempts by parents to suppress the child's reactions with punishments aggravate the situation. In preschoolers, the physical expression of aggression is observed less frequently, since speech is actively developing and its communicative function is being mastered.

The need for communication is growing, but productive interaction is hampered by egocentricity, the inability to accept someone else’s point of view, and the inability to objectively assess the interaction situation. Misunderstandings and grievances arise that give rise to verbal aggression - swearing, insults, threats. Junior schoolchildren have a basic level of self-control and are able to suppress aggression as a way of expressing resentment, displeasure, and fear.

At the same time, they actively use it to protect their interests and defend their point of view. Gender characteristics of aggressiveness begin to be determined. The boys act openly, use physical force - they fight, trip them, “snap” them on the forehead. Girls choose indirect and verbal methods - ridicule, giving nicknames, gossip, ignoring, silence. Representatives of both sexes show signs of low self-esteem and depression.

In adolescence, aggression arises as a result of hormonal changes and the accompanying emotional lability and complication of social contacts. There is a need to prove your importance, strength, and relevance. Aggression is either suppressed, replaced by productive activities, or takes extreme forms - boys and girls fight, injure opponents, and attempt suicide.

Complications

Frequent aggressiveness, reinforced by upbringing and a dysfunctional family environment, is fixed in the child’s personality traits. By adolescence, character traits are formed based on anger, bitterness, and resentment. Accentuations and psychopathy develop - personality disorders with a predominance of aggression. The risk of social maladjustment, deviant behavior, and crime increases. When self-aggression occurs, children harm themselves and attempt suicide.

Diagnostics

Diagnosis of aggressive behavior in children is relevant when the frequency and severity of manifestations are excessive. The decision to see a psychiatrist or psychologist is made by parents independently or after the recommendation of teachers. The basis of the diagnostic process is the clinical conversation. The doctor listens to complaints, finds out anamnesis, and additionally studies the characteristics of kindergarten, schools. Objective research includes the use of special psychodiagnostic methods:

• Questionnaires, observation. Parents and teachers are asked to answer a number of questions/statements about the characteristics of the child’s behavior. Observation is carried out according to a scheme that includes a number of criteria. The results make it possible to establish the form of aggression, its severity, and causes.
• Personality questionnaires. Used to examine adolescents. Detects the presence of aggressiveness in general structure personality, methods of compensation. Common methods are the Leonhard-Smishek questionnaire, the pathocharacterological diagnostic questionnaire (Lichko).
• Drawing tests. The severity of symptoms, causes, and unconscious emotions are determined by the features of the drawings. The tests used are Non-existent animal, Cactus, Human.
• Interpretive tests. They belong to projective methods; they reveal the unconscious, hidden experiences of the child. The examination is carried out using the Rosenzweig Frustration Reactions Test, Hand-test (hand test).

Treatment of aggressive behavior in children

With severe aggression, correction is required using psychotherapy methods. The use of medications is justified when anger, impulsivity, and bitterness are symptoms of a mental disorder (psychopathy, acute psychosis). It is impossible to cure aggressiveness forever; it will arise in a child in certain life situations. The task of psychologists and psychotherapists is to help resolve personal problems, teach adequate ways to express feelings and resolve conflict situations. Common correction methods include:

• . Presented with express methods of safe expression of aggression. The child is encouraged to throw out anger, irritation, anger without harm to others. Games with a ball, bulk materials, water, and “leaves of anger” are used.
• Communication trainings. Group work allows the child to develop effective communication strategies, ways of expressing emotions, defending his position without harming others. Children receive feedback(reaction of participants), analyze successes and mistakes with a psychotherapist.
• Relaxation activities. Aimed at reducing anxiety and emotional tension - factors that increase the risk of outbursts of aggressiveness. Children learn to restore deep breathing, achieve muscle relaxation, and switch attention.

Prognosis and prevention

Aggressive behavior of children is successfully corrected with the joint efforts of parents, teachers, and psychologists. The prognosis is favorable in most cases. To prevent the consolidation of aggression as the preferred method of interaction, it is necessary to adhere to a harmonious parenting style, demonstrate ways to resolve conflicts peacefully, treat the child with respect, and allow expressions of anger in a safe form. Don't focus on minor aggressive behavior. When discussing manifestations of aggressiveness, it is important to talk about actions, but not about personal qualities(“you acted cruelly”, not “you are cruel”).

ANGER AND AGGRESSION.

Outbursts of anger in a 2-3 year old child can be quite strong and literally take his parents by surprise. Most often, the first reaction of parents to these negative feelings will be to prohibit and blame the child for experiencing them.

What is the best way for parents to act? Which position is most justified from the point of view of child psychology?

Almost all caring parents think that a child surrounded by the love and attention of his family, just has no reason to be angry. And this “groundless” anger, in their opinion, makes them think about whether everything is okay with their child: “Maybe it’s our fault? Spoiled?" The question naturally arises: “How should we approach this?” Not paying attention - won't this encourage aggression? Explain and punish? But how do you explain such complex things to a baby? And if he doesn’t understand, then why punish him?

In the causes of children's aggression we have to understand, as well as develop the correct onetics of parental behavior. To begin with, we just need to define what we mean by the word “aggression”. First of all aggression will mean ah aggressive actions, committed by a child in relation tocommunication with other people. This could include biting, pinching, scratching, hitting, or other ways of physically hurting them. Aggressive actions can also include a child’s intentional damage to toys and other items in a fit of anger and rage. “Swear words” that a child utters to loved ones - “I’ll kill”, “throw away”, etc. - are manifestations of verbal aggression. We will refer the words “anger” or “anger” to the emotional state of the child, the negative feelings he experiences.

Well, now let's try to understand what motivates a baby who attacks his beloved mother, grandmother and others with his fists.

What happens to a child by the age of two - the age at which aggression against parents most often begins to manifest itself? The child is growing up: he has learned to control his arms and legs, has mastered his body enough to move independently and explore the world around us, learned with the help simple words express your wishes to your parents. And I realized that to some extent he controls his parents. He cried - mom came up, wet himself - mom changed his clothes, got hungry - mom fed him, etc. As the child develops, he improves his ways of attracting attention to himself, remaining for the time being in the happy delusion that his mother will continue to guess all his desires and satisfy all his needs.

And then one day he is faced with a situation in which mom tells him no. Sooner or later, it becomes difficult for a mother to adapt to the ever-increasing needs of the child. Her refusal to fulfill this or that child’s desire can cause quite strong anger. According to the child’s inner feeling and the previous experience of his life, the mother “has no right” to refuse him. He is used to getting what he wants, and does not understand why it should be otherwise. The child begins to protest and get angry, resorting to simple aggression.

Is this normal? Absolutely normal! Anger is a normal reaction of a healthy body to an obstacle that prevents you from getting what you want. However, the child does not yet understand what his parents learned well in childhood. We can't always get what we want right away.. Sometimes we have to not only endureto wait, But And make significant efforts for achieving what you want, enduringwith all sorts of inconveniences. Moreover, sometimes, despite everything efforts, we cannot satisfy our desire. And in this regard, we must also learn to cope with negative feelings. It is precisely this experience of humility, of postponing one’s desires “for later” that the child still lacks.

Our public social life is subject to many restrictions and prohibitions that are still unknown to the child. Although for parents these prohibitions have long become the norm and operate automatically. And they expect the same from their child. “How does he not understand, this is impossible!” But he doesn’t understand, or rather, he hasn’t understood yet. A child is not born with the ability “endure” and “wait”, he will need to learn this. And he will study throughout preschool age (and then throughout his life). The task of parents is help him with this, without pandering, but also without rushing him and without judging.

He will also have to learn to restrain his aggression. In addition to the ban on aggressive actions towards others, society has an even stronger ban on aggression towards close people - relatives and family members. Sometimes parents are ready to understand their child’s aggression aimed at stranger, but are “offended” by him if these actions concern themselves. Sometimes, on the contrary, the mother “will not notice” the child’s aggressive behavior towards her, but will be ashamed if the child starts doing the same thing at a party or on the street in the presence of strangers.

By the way, by expressing anger, a child can cause harm not only to others, but also to himself. A child can direct anger both at those who caused it feelings - that is, on parents, and on “replacingliving" objects - toys, furniture, etc. But sometimes the child directs his anger and rage at... himself. For example, he may start hitting himself, pulling his hair, and even hitting his head against the wall. In child psychology there is a special term for this behavior - auto-aggression, or aggression directed at oneself. We will not delve into this topic now; we will only note that auto-aggression receives its development/feeding when other ways of expressing aggression are strictly prohibited. “You are bad, you beat your grandmother,” the parents tell the child. “I’m bad,” the child understands to himself. This means that you need to punish yourself. As we see, the child behaves very “logically”. However, very quickly his parents feel sorry for him. And not in vain, auto-aggression is unsafe for the child’s psyche, and its manifestations should be a signal to parents about his internal troubles.

So, speaking about the attitude of adults to manifestations of children's aggression, we noticed that at the core indignation most often lies behind the idea, the child already has the ability to control chowl anger, which means he hurts them on purpose, “osozNanno.” That is why the first thing parents should remind themselves of when faced with a manifestation of aggression on the part of a child is that he really “does not realize what he is doing” and does not control himself sufficientlyexact measure to restrain your aggressive pulse. He does not yet understand that he is committing a bad act, just as he does not understand that you are in pain; the baby may still not understand (not remember from sensations) what pain is in general. That is why it is very important for parents to indicate what is happening - embracerealize that they are in pain and calmly explain to the child, that “you can’t fight or hit people.”This ban and the explanation must be repeated again and again, preventspeaking to the child at the time of implementation aggressive actions- catch his hand raised to strike, dodge bites, etc.. Until the child realizes what is happening and learns to restrain himself of his own free will.

In response to the child’s aggressive action, the mother, as a last resort, can resort to light corporal punishment - a slap on the bottom, squeezing the child’s hand in the forearm, etc. This punishment will be, so to speak, symbolic in nature. Its purpose is to indicate to the child the seriousness of his offense. This remedy should not be abused. It will be effective if used occasionally, when it seems that such punishment is appropriate. Of course, a 2-3 year old child is already able to partially understand his actions, but very often he still cannot slow down his aggression at the moment when he is overcome by a feeling of anger. Although later he realizes what he did and sincerely repents. For example, a child may make comments to toys: “You can’t fight, you can’t offend your mother,” although he himself may continue to swing and hit his mother.

In this case, some mothers begin to get annoyed with the child even more: “How is it - he knows what he shouldn’t do, but still does it. So, on purpose." However, these mothers are simply rushing to conclusions. Such a situation should be treated not as a “pedagogical failure”, but as an intermediate success of its impact. The child’s behavior shows that he has already memorized the rule, knows what is expected of him, but is simply not yet able to fulfill it whenever it is required. While emotions are stronger than him. And that's okay too. Any study takes time. And you need to give this time to both yourself and the child.

Thus, a preliminary conclusion can be drawn. The fact that the child is angry, swears and maybe aggressive - normal. This is not a sign of corruption or improper upbringing. Anger in its own way origin is the same natural feeling as rahappiness or sadness. Anger is also energetically a charged feeling that in many situations helps to fight difficulties, overcome obstaclesactions. Anger may be needed for self-defense, to assert one’s rights. Anger sends a signal to a person that some important need is not being met. That's why The child is faced with the task of not suppress your anger altogether, and learn to express itin a safe way for yourself and others. Ideally, you need to learn not only to express your anger in a civilized manner, but also to reverse this negative energy into constructive actions to overcome obstacles.

By forbidding a child to be angry and angry in general, by imposing a “taboo” on this feeling, parents can do their children a disservice. How does a child feel if his parents shame him for being angry? “I’m bad, there’s something wrong with me.” Because anger occurs naturally over and over again, the child may begin to fear being rejected for having these “wrong” feelings. Thus, in place of anger come guilt and a feeling of one’s own inferiority.

At the same time, anger does not evaporate anywhere, but remains unconscious, suppressed, which is fraught with inappropriate outbursts of anger in situations where a person’s self-control is weakened, for example, during illness. This outburst of “forbidden” anger leaves behind a very severe state of guilt, demoralizing the person even more and depriving him of the strength to fight stress and ill health. Guilt and shame may be even less constructive than anger. And unlike anger they don'tgive a person strength, but, on the contrary, weaken him,causing you to doubt yourself and your capabilities.

To teach a child to control his anger and managing it, it is worth sharing the feeling of anger and aggressive actions committed by the child. When you condemn a child's aggressive actions, you do not condemn him for his feelings. “You have the right to be angry, to be dissatisfied, to declare your disagreement,” you tell him. “But you shouldn’t hurt people and all living beings.”

This way you ban aggressive actions, not feelings. At the same time, it is good if you indicate to your child an “allowed” action that will allow him to get rid of accumulated tension: beat a punching bag (or a special “hitting toy”), have a pillow fight, have a fight with inflatable swords, tear up old newspapers, crush plasticine and etc. Thus, scientifically speaking, you “channel” his anger, which means you control it.

Now a few words about curse words. Parents have an equally negative attitude towards manifestations of both physical and verbal aggression in children. Although from the point of view of child psychology, oddly enough, the expression of verbal aggression is preferable. Because it's a more "civilized" and more "adult" way to be angry. Agree, saying is not doing. This is why parents can initially teach their children to replace their aggressive actions with words. This will be the first step towards coping with your aggression.

It is great if a child learns to recognize his anger when he himself can understand that he is angry now. And he can learn this if you, his parents, first recognize and indicate his anger for him. When you notice that your child is unhappy and angry, you need to tell him about it (without judgment, calmly): “I see that you are angry.” And then the next question-assumption: “Are you angry because... it doesn’t work out / you can’t / I don’t allow you, etc.?”

In other words, you appeal to the child's mind, inviting him to determine the cause of the anger. This is a most valuable lesson for small child: he can UNDERSTAND , maybe not right away , that there is a specific reason for his experiences. Over time, he will be able to determine this reason himself, thereby moving from the expression of emotions to their analysis, which, of course, will allow him to learn to restrain his aggressive impulses. The next step for him will be the ability to enter into a contractual relationship with his mother, that is, to negotiate to get what he wants under certain conditions.

Thus, scheme for teaching a child educationalmanaging your anger looks like this:

1) first you indicate to the child his condition - “you’re angry” - and name a possible reason;

gradually the child learns to understand that he is angry and associates his feelings with a specific reason;

at the same time, he learns to express his desires and needs in words and make others understand what he needs: “I want...”, “Now I want you...”, “I don’t want you...” ";

Common mistake parents is to suppress the child’s feelings of anger and impose an absolute ban on any aggressive actions on his part.

Reason This is due to the fear of parents. They are afraid that their child will grow up to be an “asocial type” and will not love his parents. The deeper reason lies in the parents’ inability to manage their own anger, which they were similarly “forbidden” to feel as children.

Parents should not shame and scold their child for his feelings and for the fact that he is not yet able to cope with his aggression. It’s bad if the child concludes: “I’m bad because I’m angry; but since sometimes I can’t help but get angry, I get even angrier, and I’m also angry that I’m forbidden to be angry.” As a result, he does not learn to control his aggression, he only learns to suppress it, which weakens him and deprives him of important experience - the opportunity to learn to control himself.

Correct Actions parents are to stop the child at the moment of his committing aggressive actions and inform him that you are unpleasant and painful. For example, a mother can physically prevent the infant from “attacking”: removing the nipple from his mouth when he tries to bite, stopping his hand raised for a spanking, And etc. In the future, an older child should be taught to replace his aggressive actions with words, reporting what he is angry about. The child can also be taught other ways of expressing his anger, ways that are safe for him And for others, it is to “channel” their aggression.

If a child is able to recognize his feeling of evility, identify and name the reason, and also talk about this to others, that means he's doing a great job with the difficult task of controlling their negativefeelings, knows how to manage them.

Like

The child grows quickly, surprising his parents with his new behavior. Until recently, he smiled sweetly at the whole world and people, but now he is ready to cry, be capricious and get into a fight. If parents find themselves unprepared for the fact that their baby will begin to develop negative qualities, then they find themselves at a dead end: “Where does the child appear from? How to deal with aggression? When parents witness that children display aggression with all its inherent signs and causes, the question arises of treating children for this quality.

Aggression in children

Childhood is the initial stage when kids begin to copy their parents and friends, trying out new behavior patterns. Aggression in children is a unique pattern of behavior that is reinforced for many years if they achieve their goals. For example, if a child wanted to get someone else’s toy and he managed to do this by showing aggression, then he will have an association: aggression is good, it helps to achieve what he wants.

All children try aggressive behavior as a pattern of behavior. However, subsequently, aggressiveness in some children becomes a character quality that they constantly display, while in others it becomes only a reaction to the cruelty of the world around them. Typically, aggression in children is a form of expressing their indignation at factors that arise in the world around them. A child can either express his emotions verbally or at the level of actions (cry, fight, etc.).

In almost every team there is an aggressive child. He will bully, get into fights, call names, kick and provoke other children in other ways. The first signs of aggression in children appear in infancy, when the child is weaned. It is during the period when the child does not feel protected and needed that he begins to worry.

The aggression of many children is an attempt to attract the attention of parents who pay little attention or ignore them altogether. “Nobody needs me,” and the child begins to try various behavioral models that will help him attract attention. Cruelty and disobedience often help him in this. He notices that his parents begin to communicate with him, twitch, and worry. Once such behavior helps, it begins to be reinforced for life.

Cause of aggression in children

Like any person, children have their own unique reasons for aggression. One child may be bothered by “cold parents”, while the other may be worried about the inability to have the toys they want. There are enough reasons for aggression in a child to highlight a whole list of them:

1. Somatic diseases, disruption of the functioning of parts of the brain.
2. Conflictual relationships with parents who do not pay attention, are not interested in the child, and do not spend time with him.
3. Copying the behavior patterns of parents who themselves are aggressive both at home and in society.
4. Parents' indifference to what is happening in the child's life.
5. Emotional attachment to one parent, where the second acts as an object of aggression.
6. Low self-esteem, the child’s inability to manage his own experiences.
7. Inconsistency of parents in education, different approaches.
8. Insufficient development of intelligence.
9. Lack of skills to establish relationships with people.
10. Copying the behavior of heroes from computer games or watching violence from television screens.
11. Parental cruelty towards a child.

Here we can recall cases of jealousy that arise in families where the baby is not the only child. When parents love another child more, praise him more, pay attention to him, then this causes indignation. A child who feels unwanted often becomes aggressive. His targets of aggression are animals, other children, sisters, brothers and even parents.

The nature of the punishment that parents use when the child has done something wrong also becomes important. Aggression provokes aggression: if a child is beaten, humiliated, criticized, then he himself begins to become like that. Leniency or severity as methods of punishment always lead to the development of aggressiveness.

Where does a child's aggression come from?

The website for psychotherapeutic assistance notes that children’s aggression has many causes. There may be family problems, lack of what you want, experimentation of your behavior, deprivation of something valuable, as well as somatic disorders. Children always copy the behavior of their parents. Often adults need to look at how they behave in the presence of children in order to understand where the child's aggression comes from.

The first manifestations of aggression may be bites, which are committed by a 2-year-old child. This is a way to show your strength, establish your power, show who is in charge. Sometimes a child simply looks at the reaction of the world around him by displaying this or that behavior. If the mother shows aggression, then the baby simply copies her.

At the age of 3, aggression manifests itself due to the desire to have a beautiful toy. The children begin to push, spit, break toys, and become hysterical. The parents' desire to force the child to calm down is unsuccessful. Next time the baby will simply increase his aggression.

4-year-old children become calmer, but their aggressiveness begins to manifest themselves in games where they need to defend their point of view. A child at this age does not accept the opinions of others, does not tolerate invasion of his territory, does not know how to sympathize and understand the desires of others.

At the age of 5, boys begin to try their hand at displaying physical aggression, and girls – at verbal aggression. The boys begin to fight, and the girls give nicknames and ridicule.

It is at the age of 6-7 that children learn to control their emotions a little. This does not manifest itself in a wise approach to business, but simply in hiding one’s feelings. Being aggressive, they can take revenge, tease, fight. This is facilitated by feelings of abandonment, lack of love and an antisocial environment.

Signs of aggression in children

Only a child can feel his emotions. He is not always able to recognize them and understand the reasons. This is why parents notice too late that something is wrong with their child. Typically, signs of aggression in children are the actions they perform:

• They call names.
• They take away the toys.
• They beat their peers.
• They are taking revenge.
• They don't admit their mistakes.
• They refuse to follow the rules.
• They are angry.
• They spit.
• They pinch.
• They swing at others.
• They use offensive words.
• They are hysterical, often for show.

If parents use the method of suppression in raising a child, then the child simply begins to hide his feelings. However, they don’t go anywhere.

The child's frustration and helplessness forces him to look for any ways to cope with the problem. If parents do not understand the child’s feelings, then their measures only aggravate the child’s behavior. This further depresses the child who did not want what the parents did. When there is a lack of sincerity and caring on the part of the parents, then the child begins to lash out at them or other children.

It all starts with the child trying hysterical forms of aggression: protest, screaming, crying, etc. When toys are beaten and broken, the child thus throws out his indignation.

After this period, there comes a time when the child begins to try his verbal skills. Here words are used that he heard from his parents, from TV or from other children. A “verbal fight”, where only the child should win, is a common way of displaying aggression.

The older the baby, the more he begins to combine physical strength and verbal attacks. The method that he is most successful in achieving his goal, he uses and improves.

Treatment of aggression in children

One should not hope that various methods for treating aggression in children will completely eliminate this quality. It should be understood that the cruelty of the world will always evoke aggressive emotions in any healthy person. When a person is forced to defend himself, then aggression becomes useful. “Turning the other cheek” when you are humiliated or beaten becomes the path to a hospital bed.

Thus, when treating aggression in children, remember that you are helping the child cope with his internal problems, and not with eliminating his emotion. Your task is to preserve aggression as an emotion, but eliminate it as a character trait. In this case, parents take an active part. If their parenting measures make the situation even worse, then the treatments used by psychologists become more complex and lengthy.

You should not hope that the child will become kinder with age. If you miss the moment of emergence of aggression, this can lead to the formation of this phenomenon as a character quality.

The most effective way to eliminate aggression is to correct the problem that makes the child angry. If the baby is just being capricious, then you should not react to his hysterics. If we're talking about about a lack of attention, love, general leisure, then you should change your relationship with the child. Until the cause of aggression is eliminated, it will not disappear on its own. Any attempts to persuade a child not to be angry anymore will only lead to the fact that he will simply learn to hide his own feelings, but the aggression will not disappear anywhere.

At the moment when a child shows aggression, you should understand the factors that cause it. What triggers trigger the aggressiveness mechanism? Often parents, by their actions, cause anger and indignation in the child. Changing the behavior of parents entails changes in the actions of the child.

How to deal with aggression?

Often the cause of aggression in children is poor relationships with parents. Thus, aggression can be dealt with only by correcting the behavior of both parents and children. Here are exercises that the child can do alone or with his parents. Role-playing games, where the child and parents change places, are a good exercise. The baby has the opportunity to show how his parents behave towards him. Also here, scenes are played out when a child behaves badly, and parents learn to communicate with him correctly.

It would be a good idea for parents to study the literature or consult with a family psychologist, where they can get information on how to properly respond to a child’s aggression, how to raise him and what ways to pacify his anger.

The behavior of the parents themselves, not only towards the child, but also towards other people, becomes important. If they themselves show aggression, then it becomes clear why their child is aggressive.

Both parents should have similar approaches to raising children. They must be consistent and unified. When one parent allows everything and the other forbids everything, this allows the child to love one and hate the other. Parents must think through the measures and principles of their upbringing so that the child understands what is normal and correct.

Methods also used here:

• Pillow beating.
• Switching attention to another activity.
• A drawing of one’s own aggression that can be torn apart.
• Parents' exclusion of intimidation, offensive words at the time of a child's aggression, and blackmail.
• Maintaining a nutritious diet.
• Sport.
• Doing relaxation exercises.

Parents should spend more leisure time with their children and take an interest in their thoughts and experiences. It also helps to exclude aggressive computer games from entertainment and watch violent programs and films. If the parents are divorced, then the child should not feel this. His communication should take place calmly with both his mother and father.

Bottom line

Aggression cannot be completely eliminated from a person’s life, but it can be learned to understand and control. It's good when aggression is a reaction, not a quality of character. The result of upbringing, when parents are engaged in eliminating aggressiveness in their children, is independence and a strong personality.

The prognosis in the absence of parental attempts to help the child control his rage may be disappointing. First, the child upon reaching adolescence may make bad friends. Everyone gets them. Only children who can control their aggression soon leave the “bad companies” themselves.

Secondly, the child will be confused. He does not know how to understand his experiences, assess the situation, or control his actions. The result of such behavior can be prison or death. Either the child, when he grows up, will become a criminal, or will find himself in a situation where he will be maimed or killed by other aggressive people.

The boundaries of what is permitted are erased for a person who does not learn to manage his emotions. This is often seen in criminals. As a result of the lack of education to eliminate aggression, the emotion becomes consolidated and formed into a quality of character. As is known, evil people no one loves. Only equally aggressive people can surround someone who is angry at the world. Is this the future that parents want for their child?

An aggressive child is often. He is either afraid to be left alone, or understands that he cannot interest anyone or make anyone fall in love with him. All people desire to be accepted. This is what a child wants, who simply does not yet understand that aggression only pushes people away from him even more. If parents do not reach out to a child who is angry, then he may wonder what else he can do to get his parents to love him again.